Mayoral Campaign 2013: Averell Abandons Austin

Austin is VERY different from Antonio: he uses his right hand.

Slimey slimey Averell Smith, who calls himself "Ace," has managed Villaraigosa's campaigns in the past. He is, I believe, the man who managed to help Villaraigosa squeak by in the last election with a 6% margin despite having a budget that was 14 times greater than that of his closest opponent, yours truly.

So it was natural that billionaire investment banker Austin Beutner, who mismanaged the City for a couple of years as Villaraigosa's deputy, would turn to Smith to run his campaign. Beutner, however, decided to try passing himself off to voters as come kind of "outsider." Yeah, right, tell me another one, Pinnochio.

Part of Beutner's "outsider" schtick is to criticize the way City Hall is run. Well, that apparently won't fly with Averell. I suspect Averell wants to run Villaraigosa's next campaign, and he really can't do that if he wages a campaign highlighting the past seven years of incompetence at the top. So Averell is divorcing Austin. Read all about it in the Los Angeles Times.

Averell. Who names a kid "Averell?" How many times did he get beat up per week in elementary school? Dude, you know you can legally change your name, right?

As for Austin, not only is he just another Spring Street insider, but he has all the charisma of _______________ (fill in the blank with the name of someone you know who has no charisma). His speech literally -- and I'm a person who knows what "literally" means -- put former mayor Richard Riordan to sleep, according to the LA Weekly.

Bring on the debates.